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boyfriend, Me


Stories of a Parket

Theater is my religion - Alan Rickman

In loving memory of Mr. Rickman
boyfriend, Me

In 2012 while Seminar was playing I wrote a letter to Alan and sent it via a fan who was going to see the show. She said she gave it to him, but I never got anything in return to confirm he got it. In my heart I hope he did.

“Dear Mr. Rickman,

My name is Martina Janeska and I live in Skopje, Macedonia. I am 17 years old and a 3rd year student in the “Josip Broz – Tito” high school. I’ve been a huge fan of you ever since I saw your performance in Sweeny Todd. As a part of the younger generation I, of course, first knew you for your role as Severus Snape, but then I did some research and realized that I had seen you in a lot of other movies, but because of your amazing ability to transform I was unable to recognize you. Since then you have been a huge inspiration for and you have sort of given me the courage to do a lot of things.

I’m a huge fan of theater and I love acting and going to plays. Two years ago I founded a Facebook page with my best friend that promotes Macedonian theater. It’s the biggest information source on the topic in my country. We have official and unofficial collaborations with most of the Macedonian theaters and we have gained a lot of respect in the theater circles through running the page, even though we are only 17 years old.

Last year I joined the school drama club and we did a play called “Love Fever”. It was a parody of Shakespeare’s “Midsummer’s night dream” and it was set in a school. I played a boy, who was not part of the loser group or of the cool guy group, but somewhere in the middle. I was helping the Losers do a play by bringing them Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox to help them. It was really funny. The rehearsal process was a drag because we couldn’t organize at all, but the end product was fabulous. We filled the whole hall and everyone thought we were hilarious.

I also write a lot and that’s my real passion. My dream is that one day I’ll publish a successful novel, but right now I’m writing a lot of fan fiction and I’m working on a play that I hope I’ll get to set up before I leave high school. It’s about a teenage girl who falls in love with an actor, but it’s more of an obsession and not real love, because she suffers from the lack of attention of her parents and has a deficit of love which she’s trying to make up by wanting to be with the actor. The names will be an allegory of the feelings they represent. For example the girl’s name will mean uncertainty, the actor’s – safety. It’s a psychological play and I know it’s really hard to write, but a lot of the stuff I’ll be writing will come from my experiences.

But right now my biggest dream is to one day meet you and see you on stage. I hope that after I turn 18 I’ll be able to go to New York, London or wherever you’ll be doing a play. That thing that would make me happiest right now is getting an autograph from you so here’s my address.

Martina Janeska"

boyfriend, Me

I keep wondering why the fuck am I so dependent on other people’s opinions? Like why do I have to get a “Photo of the Week” nomination? Does it mean that without one my photos are shit? I seem to think so.

Or that if I only get likes on my blog page from my family, my poems are also shit? Or that if my tweets get no faves or reblogs they’re shit too?

How do I fucking stop this? I don’t want to depend so much. I want to be confident that my art is good without other people telling me that it is. Or do I just want to belong somewhere? Maybe. Maybe if someone says my shit is good they will accept my into a group and I’ll belong. For once in my life.

I wish....
boyfriend, Me

I wish I was stonger.
I wish I wasn't afraid.
I wish I wasn't so lost.
I wish I could fit in.
I wish I would stop thinking that something will make him leave.
I wish these 'attacks' would stop.
I wish I wasn't so fucking sensitive.....

In Brno on the boards that mean life!
boyfriend, Me

This is a project of the theater group I am involved in at my University. We act in German and we have been accept with our latest play called “Goethe im Examen” to a festival called ”VIII. Internationalen Studententheaterfestival in deutscher Sprache (22.- 26. April 2015) der Drehbühne Brno”. Our costs for staying there and performing are covered by the festival, but our travel costs are not. We need around 200€ pro person i.e. 2200€ all in all to cover those costs.

This is part of my dream and the dream of my group as well. Please, anyone who can, help. Even the smallest donation will be of use. In return if anyone is in Macedonian (or in Brno) when we are preforming the play, they will get free entrance.

Also if you could share for anyone in your circle that'd be interested to donate, it would be great!

More Information: https://www.facebook.com/pages/R%C3%BCckw%C3%A4rts-%D0%AFevolution/670429349741777?fref=ts
Donation Link: https://www.betterplace.org/de/projects/27085-in-brno-auf-die-bretter-theatergruppe-fyrom-mochte-auf-die-drehbuhne

Fan Fiction again
boyfriend, Me
So I started up with the FF again. I am posting a story called "Don't stand so close to me" that I wrote before I stopped alltogether. It wasn't finished but up to the part where I had written it darklouts had beta-ed it :) And I thank her for that.

It was to be a big one-shot but I decided to split it up in drabble chapters. I am asking you all to please go read it and leave a review. They'd all be grately appreciated and I really need feedback. :)



Harry - the kitten has become a cat
boyfriend, Me
He decided today that I was his bed and spent the duration of a whole handball game on TV sleeping on me. My sweet little munckin. :D He changed like 15 positions on me lol

You all have no idea how much I love this cat. He's the only thing that loves me no questions asked and loves cuddling with me all the time (ok only when he's tired out lol).  Perfect little thing :D
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Akita Inu puppies for sale
boyfriend, Me

Selling Akita Inu puppies from Struga, Macedonia. Their price is 1000€. Both are male - one white, the other orange/white. They are 34 days old. They are vaccinated and will be available in about 10 days. More information per e-mail (macakaratistka@hotmail.com) or in inbox.


Vendita di due cuccioli maschili da Struga, Macedonia. Hanno il pedigree. Uno e bianco e l’altro e arancio-bianco. Hanno trentaquattro giorni. Altre informazioni su e-mail (macakaratistka@hotmail.com) o in inbox.


Verkauf von zwei männlichen Welpen aus Struga, Mazedonien. Sie haben den Stammbaum. Ein ist weiß und das andere orange-weiß. Sie sind 34 Tage alt. Weitere Informationen über E-Mail (macakaratistka@hotmail.com) oder in inbox.


boyfriend, Me
We do not exist.
Only the words
to this song exist.

If we want to show
who and what we are
we have to move them around

in a way - reflection, mirror
of our own soul.

boyfriend, Me

I feel the weight of your hand
on my cheek
right before I wake up -
your kiss says good morning.

The day always starts the same,
it’s not something I would like to change,
if I had a choice,
every moment of it would be a beginning.

Everything here with you is new,
everything is good,
everything is happy,
so I’m constantly wondering if this is a dream
and waiting for the moment of awakening.

Kitty cat
boyfriend, Me

I love this little munchkin the most in the whole wide world. It slept on me for almost half an hour. Just started dozing off while we were watching handball :)